A few words about Thunderstorms...

This summer, Denver has experienced amazing thunderstorms with unusual frequency. The day starts out calm and sunny, I pack up and head down to the pool, then by three or so in the afternoon, the clouds start to build and the rain begins to pour down in sheets. I am beginning to wonder if the climate in Denver has changed. I know the climate in my life has changed over the last year and I have been experiencing my own personal thunderstorms. There have been flash floods, tornado warnings, and bells and whistles going off. There have been tantrums and tears, stomping of feet and the looming question "why me?" more than once. The lightening has been quite impressive, followed by cracks of thunder that appear to be crashing within 50 yards of my beautiful tranquil balcony. The tantrums and tears have been quite impressive as well. It is interesting to be able to touch my authentic self and see how I repeat past behavior that I know doesn't serve me. Then, the storm passes, the calm comes, the sunsets are spectacular and all is right again.

As I think about these thunderstorms and the fact that I have no control over them, I'm reminded of the work of Byron Katie in "Loving What Is". She refers to three kinds of business: My business, your business and God's (or whatever your higher power happens to be) business. Her concept is that when you are feeling discord, check in to see in just whose business you find yourself. When I'm fighting the rainstorm (out of my control) by being frustrated at the daily interruption in my summer, I'm clearly out of my business and in the business of changing Mother Nature. A losing proposition at best. On my own weather front, I seem to find myself deeply entrenched in family drama that has begun to unfold this summer and I have been consumed with worry over events past, present, and future. Not my business, and clearly out of my control. Just what's going on here? I've been chewing on this for a while now.

As I was driving home this afternoon, looking up and noticing the blue sky, it was as if a bolt of lightening came out of nowhere and pierced through me. The sky was clear but I felt tingly and the hair on the back of my neck stood up. I was angry. I was really angry. Just what the heck was going on, anyway? I had made an agreement with myself that I was the steward of my life and a promise that I would take my duties seriously. I had hired myself to be the keeper of my soul and I was up for review. I needed to take a hard look at the lesson where I learned how to stay in my own power by staying in my own business. I live a worry free life and it is a beautiful place to live. It seems lately though, I have been out of town.

I steer my own course and I think I've been asleep at the wheel. I have spent far too much time in my past worrying about things that are clearly not my business and I thought I had grown through that behavior. I was surprised to find myself wandering this neighborhood again. I had to stop and have a gentle talk with myself and jump back into the business of living my own life. I have the skill set to live an incredible life and like the lightening bolt that shoots across the sky, I am a powerful woman. Sometimes I just have to look myself in the eye to step back into that power.

So the message for today is I love my body more than worrying about something over which I have no control. To me, worry looks like a hamster on a wheel going nowhere. Life comes at you on sunny days and in thunderstorms and running around in circles worrying about something that is clearly not your business is not only exhausting, it is self destructive behavior.

I wish a day filled with clear skies for you,

XO,
Karen