A few words about tangibles....

I've been going through this phase lately of desiring to release my tangible things that are taking up the space I want to fill with intangibles. What is my resistance? Is it that I have worked hard to accumulate a comfortable life and I feel it is a tangible sign of success? Perhaps. Is it fear? Just what is it that makes me feel like I have to hang on to things? Do we really measure the success of a person by the possessions she owns?

I have beautiful things, at least I think so. A gorgeous butterscotch leather sofa that I've had for 15 years and cannot see another living room that I might inhabit without it gracing some space; a gorgeous oriental rug that looks so fabulous, a closet full of beautiful clothes that I hardly ever wear and so many other things that I hold on to because I think I need them. But do I really? I think the lesson itching to be learned is that tangibles only serve to carry me so far. It is the intangible, like the look on my granddaughter's face when she laughs, I mean really laughs...the kind where she can hardly breathe and her face is contorted in such ridiculous happiness and the immense love that I feel for her fills my heart to capacity where I think it will just flat out burst. Wow, it feels good. You just can't buy that. I loved to see the joy in my mother's eyes when I would surprise her by stopping by without calling, or the feeling of the warmth of the sun on my face, or the cool water that surrounds me when I slip into the pool on a hot summer day. Could I really buy those feelings? Could I hold any of them in my hands?

So I am practicing releasing. Clothing, gold charger plates that I no longer use, a pair of earrings that a friend loves but I have refused to give her because I wanted to keep them for myself. I never really thought I was a stingy person, but she really loves those earrings and I just pulled them out of a box that I found in my closet and thought they were cute so I wore them. But she really loves them. It is true that the gift, I believe if you're really paying attention, is in the giving away. The greater gift is giving away something you have loved at one time or another.

I live an abundant life but I'm learning where the true abundance that I desire lies and it isn't in the things that I own. I'm learning to let go of things I love, or always thought I loved because the feeling of freely floating them off to new homes is a much deeper and more rewarding feeling. Besides, my life is changing and I'm not sure everything will fit in the suitcase for my next big adventure.

So, the message for today is that I love my body more than the tangibles that surround me. They are just things and I would rather downsize my tangible life to open the cracks for the intangibles to burst through. That is where the true nuggets of the happiest life lie. So my friend, my black dress that I loaned to you, you know the one that you really love, if you're reading this I joyfully release the dress to you...

XO,
Karen

A few words about Pigeon Holes

I was speaking with a coworker the other day who was telling me of his frustration about working full time in one area while he is working on post graduate work in Health Care Administration. His frustration was centered around not being valued for what he was learning, but for what he was currently doing. When I told him to reframe that thought into how rich with experience he was becoming being on the other side of administration and what and incredible leader he will be, he walked away standing a little taller. It is all in how you look at it and his situation opened the door for some contemplation, and how important for people who are contributing to the decisions in our lives to place you in the appropriate box.

It is my thought that we place ourselves in our own pigeon holes therefore placing self imposed limitations. For me, I'm single. I've been divorced but each time I see that box on some form I'm filling out it generates negative feelings. What difference does it make? Is my doctor going to treat me differently? Am I being judged by the box I check? Single, married, divorced, widowed. Single? I just haven't met the right person. Could mean you're living with someone but technically you're single. Married? Have been before so really you're divorced then remarried. Divorced? Made a bad decision, things just didn't work out, and a host of other things. And widowed? A different journey. Each box holds a different feeling. Maybe they should add a few boxes, like "Single but dating," "Happily Married" because after all, if you are happily married you must be more stable than "Single but dating" don't you agree? But in who's eyes?

It is my opinion that we put ourselves in our own pigeon holes in life thereby labeling ourselves. Or perhaps are we making excuses for not living our lives full out? If you can place yourself in a box then you don't have to live outside of one. In my mind, you're single or you're married. Everything else is the life experience in between. When I was first divorced, I clung to that identity for a while until I became single again. Single feels nicer to me. Free, independent, non-attached.

I've checked boxes before believing that somehow they were keeping statistics, or it was something that I needed to do to comply with the rules. Now, I make my own. I check the single box because that is what I am. Divorce was a long time ago and it doesn't really matter anymore.

So pigeon holes no longer define me. They only serve to put me in a category that defines me for someone else. So, the message for today is that I love my body more than being placed in a pigeon hole. I choose to find my own definition. Perhaps I'll choose to add a box to the standard forms; single but having a great time in my life. Yes, I like that one!

XO,
Karen

A few words about Injuries...

The other day I was working and strained my back just a little. Not a lot, but it was noticeable. I wasn't scheduled to work for a few days and being proactive in my health, I did a little yoga to stretch my muscles. The next morning I got out of bed, or tried to, and was nearly immobilized by the muscles that had been strained. I was bent over; each time I attempted to stand straight I was gripped by a spasm. I managed to get on to the floor and gently stretch to get movement back into my body but while I was down there I took the opportunity to do a little self reflection. I've always been healthy, and for that I am on my knees (or flat on my back on that day) in gratitude. No major issues other than seasonal allergies and now I was being sidelined by a yoga injury. How lame is that? I managed to get up and standing nearly straight, I got out my Ben Gay (the fact that I actually had it in my medicine cabinet is scary) and smeared it on my back and it was pretty soothing. Then I realized, not only was I bent over, I smelled like a bag of old granddaddies. Yikes.

So, if I practice what I preach and live a life of abundant gratitude, I am grateful for so many things. OK, so not so much for the yoga injury, but grateful that it wasn't caused by reaching for the remote. I live a pretty active life in which exercise is an important part. The older I am the more important it becomes. I hear people my age referring to themselves as being old and I want to shake them and tell them these are the best years of our lives. I am not old, I am growing older. And these are the best years of my life. I'm wiser, I'm content, I'm not fighting for space on the planet because I already own the space I occupy. I am rich with life experience. I stretch and I grow and I willingly engage in life. I have a sense of humor that allows me to move through life with a light heart. I have a delicious dark side which I embrace as being part of who I am.

You have to face the fact that life is full of injuries. Physical, spiritual, and emotional. I think the trick is what you do about them, and how proactively you participate in the healing that matters. I didn't choose to lie on the heating pad for a few days until my back healed itself. I stretched, I massaged and worked through the pain of the spasm. As I am moving through these changes in my life and dealing with the emotional injuries, I'm doing my homework, asking questions of myself, doing research to find the best thing that works for me. I am unique and I am forging the trail of my own life, whatever that brings. It is an adventurous time to be me. The Universe continues to shower me with healing gifts, large and small and my palms are open.

So what is next? I'm not sure but I do have some ideas. I am entertained by myself right now, embracing the dance I am doing with my fears and my desires. It is a challenging time in my life and I am loving watching it unfold. Full of uncertainties and questions and I am completely confident in my ability to sort it all out and move through with grace. While I find myself tentative to run in the direction of a desire, I am intrigued with the opportunity to explore my fears. Wow. What a ride. Injuries heal. Heartaches mend. Life marches on and the scars fade. All in all, life is what you make it, but that is nothing new. I only wish I would have said it first! So the message for today is I love my body more than the injuries that might sideline me. Physical or emotional. They are only temporary and will disappear with time. I will continue to be grateful for what I have, creating the most abundant life I could ever imagine.

XO,
Karen