Breaking the addiction to lack...

I am amazed at the ease at which I am sailing through the holidays, decorating, singing, dancing to Jingle Bells. This year I made the conscious decision to embrace the holidays which usually send me looking for a helmet and diving for cover, praying for January 2nd to roll around. My family is so fractured and instead of the close gatherings, present exchanges, carols sung by the choir, we kind of all just go along on our own way without much acknowledgement or celebration. When I was growing up in a large family, Christmas was a time of great excitement, mountains of presents under the tree and so much fun preparing a huge dinner. When I moved away, we planned Christmas around schedules, my brother coming from Alaska, one of my sisters from Phoenix, me from Florida, and Christmas often came on days other than December 25th. The efforts were made to keep Christmas intact and that was good. I think the major shift happened when my father died in 1993. The tradition of Christmas changed, my mother caught in grief decided to travel to Chicago to visit me. It was the first Christmas I didn't go "home". My sister and I didn't creep up the stairs to see what Santa had left in our stockings. We pasted Christmas together anyway, and I remember it fondly, but it was different. Holidays are times when it is so easy to jump into old memories that are filled with the wonderfulness of what I "used" to have and don't have now. Why is it we are so addicted to lack? What we don't have, what we didn't have, what we will never have or what we have lost? I think as a society we are focused on so much negativity it spirals us down to the depths of despair. It is easy to become inured to the discomfort of living a negative life. I am recapturing my joy, making a conscious decision to love the life I am living and it is a good life. Being unhappy is uncomfortable because it no longer fits into my JOY filled life. Instead of wishing I was invited to a party, I am having one myself tonight, with fabulous women who bring such positive energy. Instead of feeling sorry for myself that I miss the traditions of Christmas, I am blazing the trail of creating new ones. I have invited my granddaughter and my mother to join me for brunch at one of the oldest and most historic hotels in Denver, that totally decks out for the holidays and it will be pleasure filled. I have decorated for the holidays, risking frostbite to string lights on my balcony. My life is good and filled with choices. I can choose to focus on what I lack, or I can joyfully jump into what I have. Daily. I live a joy filled life packed with gratitude. I have broken my addiction to lack and choose to celebrate the life I have. So today, and every day, I love my body more than lack...Happy JOY filled holidays to you,
XO,
Karen