I was on a flight a couple of weeks ago watching the safety video and it got to the part where the oxygen masks were falling from the ceiling of the cabin. Even though I have seen the video so many times, it struck me differently and I was immediately aware of why they instruct you to do that. If you don't have the oxygen you need, you will not have the ability to help another because your own source of oxygen will be depleted. I was also immediately aware of how often I have taken care of another's needs without making sure I was taken care of first. I have accepted second place many times in my life, at the expense of my own well being. What I have given to others has sometimes come from a place of resentment, guilt, or obligation because I was running on fumes in my own life. Over the last few years I have come to learn that if I'm not happy, I have no means by which to genuinely and unconditionally give to another. So I decided to see how it would work if I put the importance of my own joy first. Frankly, it works rather well.
It doesn't come from a place of narcissism it comes from a place of realization that keeping myself in a good place makes everything else incredibly easy. It is my job to take care of me. Since I have been doing that, my relationships have improved, I enjoy myself more, I have more fun. I laugh easily and often. I have even had people tell me I am a role model for living a joyful life. Wow, could I have said that 5 years ago? No.
In my profession I am a natural caregiver. I help to manage an illness, speak with family members, have difficult conversations regarding end of life issues. If my own cup is empty, I end my day feeling drained. If I take breaks during my day, like doing a little dance, or playing my air guitar, I rev right back up to a level where I have excess to give. Pleasure is as necessary as water to me.
So the message for today is put on your own mask first. It gives you the vital oxygen you need to propel your own life. Fill your own cup with pleasure first, then you have the fuel to give freely to another. Today, I love my body more than second place.
XO,
Karen
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At Friends In Deed in NYC they always say, "Your number one responsibility on planet Earth is the care and feeding of your own soul."
ReplyDeleteI try to remind myself of that after years of being a caregiver and putting others' needs before mine. It's a good lesson! Thanks for the reminder. I think I'll take a dance break.